Bizarre Programming Languages, Vol. 1

(Disclaimer: analogies will be used so bare with me)

Some people say learning to program is hard, tedious and excruciating. It’s like learning a new language, just to talk to a machine which needs to be told in very specific commands what to do and execute. For some reason, a group of people seem to think that programming itself isn’t complicated enough, and thus ‘esolang’ was born.

So let’s roll back a bit, before you melt into you chair…… what is a programming language anyway? we’ve all heard about It and have probably seen the green rain stuff on the Matrix, well, it’s exactly that, its code that defines how you digital world works, almost like DNA but a digital version (Weird huh?) but wait, It get much weirder.

Put simply, programming is giving a set of instructions to a computer to execute. If you’ve ever cooked using a recipe before, you can think of yourself as the computer and the recipe’s author as a programmer. The recipe author provides you with a set of instructions which you read and then follow. The more complex the instructions, the more complex the result!

Welcome to the world of esoteric programming languages (aka esolang), where programmers push the conventions of language design. These languages are not meant to be easy to use. Quite the opposite, they are designed to challenge, frustrate and amuse programmers with their difficulty. There are many esolangs out there for you try but here are 15 of the most bizarre and insane of the lot.

Here is a programming language made entirely out of one-liners from movies featuring Arnold Schwarzenegge, classics such as Terminator, Predator and Total Recall. ArnoldC was created by Lauri Hartikka, who swapped out standard commands with their equivalent Arnold one-liner.

Example includes False and True, which becomes “I LIED” and “NO PROBLEMO”, respectively. Here’s how a “Hello World!” code would look like:

Still confused…. don’t worry, our team will handle it, we just thought you ought to know 😉


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